A smiling face- a blessing ?

I was born with a smiling face
It smiles when I smile
It smiles when I am sad
It even smiles in repose
Do not know what to do

I remember at school, when I was in maybe fourth or fifth grade our English teacher Ms Shirley gave my name to vice principal Sister Clementine for elocution.  They asked me. to recite The Charge of The Light Brigade.  I knew this one by heart and gave it my all.
Blessed with over confidence and boldness, nothing in life has fazed me.  And I thought I’d done a pretty good job, actually, I was jolly marvelous.  The sister agreed but rejected me ‘cos she said this was a sad poem and I was smiling all the while.  I said no I was sad while reciting this poem but she said ask the others we all felt you were smiling.  Hence I had to step down thanks to my smiling face.

Then I got double punishment for being naughty as I did not appear repentant and duly chastened- in fact my smiling face made the elders angrier.

I once remember we had gone to commiserate at the death of a relative.  As the  parents said the appropriate words, I found some people glaring at me- then I realized they found my happy face offensive.  I hung my head in shame. Since then no one in my family dared to take me to any sad events or gatherings

 I’ve practiced a lot in front of the mirror to squint n make suitable faces but it is all to no avail- I simply have a happy face no matter what- maybe it is also due to the fact that I find something comic in every situation and am always smiling inside because of it. And that mirth spills out!!!

Even at the darkest periods of my life I kept smiling and going for walks and what not- then one day we had to leave Delhi and go live with my family for a while to recover our bereavement.  Then I realized that my face can be a blessing as well.  At least a couple of dozens of neighbors came to say goodbye and they started thanking me.  I was quite perplexed as to why and they said your smiling happy face despite all your troubles and pain and loss gave us lots of hope and we felt we too can beat destiny and come out ahead- you gave us hope.  That is my most cherished memory  and the fact that finally my  silly smiling face gave some people HOPE TO  CARRY ON no matter what.

My sister and BIL own a topnotch residential school and to divert my mind, made me a honorary administrator and gave me a nice office. They even hung my fav paintings etc to make me feel at home.  I enjoyed going to the kindergarten and lower grades and children simply give me joy and they too take to me  as well as they realize me to be  as one of their own kind-nonjudgemental and goofy.  Still I represented management and the staff n others started sending the really naughty ones to me to mete out punishment.  I wondered what should I do now.  I would speak with great stern tones in a loud voice and then reason why they should behave etc etc..  But here too my smiling face made the kids feel it was all a game and they requested punishment from my hands and would stick out their palms so that I could hit them on their hands with a ruler.  They cajoled me to do so and when I did hit them lightly, they smiled and clapped with glee.  This became a game with the children, they would be naughty so that Bina Maam could yell at them and punish them- if I did not say anything they would say maam we are sorry and here is our hand- please hit us.  My family decided I was a real softy and hence I and the kids were better off if I stayed home.  I agreed heartily as hitting kids made me sick to my stomach.  However I enjoyed standing with kids during assembly where they would recite their prayers and then national anthem and then would read a synopsis of daily news and a thought for the day.  My days at the school were shortlived and I returned to USA soon thereafter.

Last year I lost a very dear friend and I wrote an eulogy to Vickie and at the wake the family gave a copy of this to all the people gathered there. http://binagupta.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/04/vickie-an-eulogy.htm
 When I hugged the family I fervently prayed asking to look really torn n sad just like how I was feeling- yet I think I was smiling as her family SMILED BACK AT ME. Now what can I say.  My boss was v. cut up and had a v. somber sad face for a month n glared at me for looking happy even tho I was equally sad.
C’est vie!!!  Que sera sera and all the good stuff
What can I say- my glass is always half full.

God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,
 courage to change the things that can be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish
 one from the other.
Reinhold Niebuhr
American, Theologian Quotes

Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression.
 It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens.
 It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.
Grenville Kleiser
American, Author Quotes

A good conscience is to the soul what health is to the body; it preserves constant ease and
 serenity within us; and more than countervails all the calamities and afflictions which
 can befall us from without.
Joseph Addison
1672-1719, British Essayist, Poet, Statesman